Choose your own adventure parenting

Sometimes I feel I am in a game of "choose your own adventure parenting". If you remember those books from the 1980's, basically you are faced with a situation, are offered some choices and once a choice is made, you follow on in the adventure with whatever consequences are attached to your choice. What was great was that you could work your way through the book many times, trying out different scenarios. Unfortunately what choose your own adventure (CYOA) parenting lacks is the chance to try try out choices because if the results aren't to your liking, you can't go back but rather have to deal with a whole new set of choices.

Example: "Sporty Kids" program, today in Kanata (suburbia). It is a child only program which was frankly a surprise to both Jasona nd I the first day. I have decided that it would be good for him to do something on his own that is more fun than euphemistically name "pre-school" aka daycare. (he sees right through us on that one by the way). Anyway, what do parents do during "sporty Kids"? Well, on Day 1, most parents, mainly Moms, came prepared and the class started with free time for the kids and the cracking of magazines for Moms (things like "Kids Bedroom Renovations" and I don't think it is what Jason does every evening in his room. Today I was prepared. I had a Chatelaine magazine with me!! Festive holiday planning special!!! I even had a drink.

All was going well in the early part of the class. Jason was having a lot of fun and was glowing, all the way through warm up stretching. Today was basketball, another favourite, until the ball bounced into his face. From then on, Jason was sobbing off and on for 40 minutes. I was in the gym (no Chatelaine for me). He would try to re-engage every few minutes but then more sobbing. Then water bottle throwing. Then a fit. And it was as I watched him rolling on the groun, that I was struck by the choices I had before me: a) hard core Mama - get up and walk out of the room and out of sight; b) soppy Mom - "come here my littlw wee baby..."; c) somewhere in between - giving hugs but trying not to get too emotional. I had been trying this but we all know how good I am at being unemotional; or d)pull him from the class, and address the not great behaviour of cup throwing.

If this were really CYOA parenting I could have tried out each of these ideas and more to see I anyone of them could have resulted in my son finshing sporty kids by playing with the parachute. Instead, I pulled him, trying to talk about cup throwing, gave up, gave hugs and we played outside. Came home and had lovely cuddles and stories. I guess it was a good choice after all.

I am now tidying up, which my Mom always did with enthusiasm but I hate, probably because parts of our house resist and refuse "tidying up" attempts. However, Jason had walked into the house 2 days in a row and announced "what a big mess!"

On the way to Sporty Kids (did I mention it was in the suburbs), Jason was rocking out to some kids music, and shouted up front "Rock and roll baby" which is what I say to him when we start on an an adventure. Once in kanata, he asked if we were in Halifax (I guess it seemed like a really far drive). When I asked why it reminded him of Halifax, he said because it's cloudy.

One more - I also think that this Halifax remembering might have led to the tears. After class he spent a long time on a big boulder pointing out where Halifax and Ottawa would be if it were a map and how far apart they are. :(